jeaun.com

Clad in garb

We should CafePress ourselves some jeaun.com t-shirts. It would be easy and cheap and we'd have esoteric, inside-joke t-shirts. And we all know those are the best kind of t-shirts.

Two ideas:

1. Minimalist: A picture of the cupola on front and a slogan on the back, maybe "All up in your jeaun" or "That'll be five thousand dollars."

2. Something involving Alan Greenspan.

Suggestions?

Hey! That's my name, too!

About two years ago, I did a google on my own bad self and found a personal web site for some dude who really likes sunsets. I posted a link on my livejournal blog in order to deny all responsibility for the seaside cove web site. (Beware of pop-up windows and midi-tastic island music if you follow the link.)

I got an email today on my thoughtworks account from him:

IMPOSTER!

Jason
http://profiles.yahoo.com/moonzie

I think that I look way too better than him, but that's just my opinion.

Mr.Greenspan says...

Libel? Anybody, anybody, anybody?

What Would Alan Greenspan Do?

And let's see some heads out there. If Alan can do it, so can you.

Oh, Pooh.

I've never been a fan of the Winnie the Pooh stories. They seemed insipid and soft. I come from a strict Grimm upbringing, with some Shockheaded Peter for good measure. I dislike Winnie as much as I dislike Paddington Bear. I guess I'm not a fan of slow-moving bear thoughts, even if they cleverly explain Taoism.

Anyway, I'm finally getting off my chest the rant about Pooh. Even in college I had friends who would utter such phrases as:

"Look at my new underwear- they have Pooh on them!"
"Is that Pooh on your shirt?"
"I just love Pooh."

Doesn't anyone realize how rediculous they sound when saying the word 'Pooh'?

The Salon headline "Judge dismisses Pooh suit against Disney" made me snort into my bowl of Sugar Smacks. All I could think of is a three-piece made of feces.

who would win in a fight?

1. a caveman or an astronaut (without laser weapons)

2. a monkey or a dog
2a. what if the monkey had a knife

3. the rock with a 2x4 or the rock wearing a cape and a magical wrestling belt

discuss.

Loan u a nounatron?

I set up a wiki last night. I've been itching to do this for a while. Go check out Nounatron. The main page gives you the gist of what it is and what we can use it for.

You can upload files, like pictures to it as well. I'm going to experiment with it and then I'll add some instructions on how to post images.

Word to each of your respective mothers.

Hello, Jennifer

I see you've found the apple. As I said before, the apple can represent either good or e-vil. For you, Jennifer, the apple will represent . . .

E-VIL.

All part of the Master Plan

Don't know how many of you have heard about this bizarre and ultimately anticlimactic incident at Grinnell on Friday.

Here's the report from the the IowaChannel.com:

Grinnell College Evacuates After Chemical Scare
State Fire Marshal's Office Helps Remove Chemical From Storage

Grinnell, Iowa -- A portion of Grinnell College was evacuated Friday to remove a potentially dangerous chemical from a college storage area.

The State Fire Marshal's office was on the scene to help the college remove the chemical ammonium perchlorate from an area used for research. They say the chemical is harmful and could possibly explode.

Buildings on the Grinnell College campus were evacuated and closed while the chemical was removed. Initially, the plan was to detonate the chemical on college grounds. But after experts examined the chemical, they determined it wasn't as unstable as first though and decide to dispose of the chemical as usual, rather than blowing it up.

The college is on spring break and most of the students are not in town.

--------------

My brother was there and said they dug a six-foot-deep hole in Mac Field in which to detonate the substance, and also towed all the cars from north campus to south. Imagine all those kids getting back from break to find their cars in entirely different places. And the "usual method" they used to dispose of the chemical? They diluted it with water and flushed it down the turlet.

Also, Chopper 13 was there and, in lieu of the action-packed story they were hoping for, ended up broadcasting aerial footage of my brother and his friends walking down the street.

While looking for information on the story I also stumbled across a thread about it at Free Republic, of all places. The comments included a remark about how we should expect this sort of thing from a lefty, liberal school.

Because you know how we liberals love blowing things up.

the Splog thread

As you probably noticed, the spam floodgates have opened here at jeauncom.

What is the appropriate action? Maybe we should require a login to make comments? I'va always hated that idea, but if it will keep the spammers away, I think it might be worth it. Is that even possible? What does everyone else think?

greetings from sunny california

you guys, i think i love los angeles. who fucking knew? also, last night, i flirted with ken "i'll stick my balls in it" marino from the state/wet hot american summer. i'm sure that adds to the love. i walked next to the ocean in the morning and hiked by the observatory in the afternoon. also, it's warm. win, don't hate me.

xoxoxo,
lizz

Straight from the Jackass's mouth

I know that politicians spend much of their time making and writing speeches, and it must be difficult to have your every word scrutinized by the press and the public, but this sure does seem like a case of flat-out lying and policy flip-flopping to me.

And I sure do like watching Rumsfeld squirm and try to backpeddle: MoveOn.org commercial

//Edit: I fixed the link. Thanks, Colin.//

Minister of Propaganda

So, in order to dupe the elderly it would seem like the Bush administration has resorted to out and out propaganda. It seems kind of strange since they have Fox News, but I understand it somewhat, sometimes you gotta do it yourself.

So, when exactly will everyone who supposedly loves Bush wake up? The utter gall of this administration is just striking. Making "news" spots to convince seniors that the law is good. Here's a little explanation of the problems with the supposed 'reform' law.

The biggest problem is that the law PROHIBITS Medicare from using their base to negotiate lower drug prices. Way to reform there buddy. In case anyone has more time on their hands than me, here's full text of the bill, all 415 pages of it. So does anyone know a senior that supports Bush? I guess that rich seniors who don't use medicare might, but other than that....

The "I'm an Idiot" Thread

What are some really obvious things that you "just flat out" missed for way too long?

This morning it finally dawned on me that "Friendster" is probably referencing "Napster" by adopting the "ster" suffix.

God Fearing Folk

Get Saved!

Why am I not surprised?

So, 50 Cent's a homophobe. In his Playboy interview, he states:

"I ain't into faggots. I don't like gay people around me, because I'm not comfortable with what their thoughts are. I'm not prejudiced. I just don't go with gay people and kick it—we don't have that much in common. I'd rather hang out with a straight dude. But women who like women, that's cool."

It always cracks me up when people qualify a prejudiced statement by saying they're not prejudiced.

Dead Milkman

I don't know if anyone else is a Dead Milkmen fan, but this news sucks. Dave Blood, the bassist, killed himself last night.

http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/Music/03/11/music.milkmen.reut/index.html

Anyone up for being a cyborg super soldier?

Just asking, since they've now invented BLEEX
Ok, so it won't make you a cyborg super soldier, but you'll be able to carry a lot of stuff and not feel it. I'm afraid though. I expect spam talking about "getting bigger" using this technology for both men and women and I shudder.

As a certified nerd though, this is pretty damn cool. Maybe we should start a moving company and get a couple of these.

Belief-o-matic

Find out what religion you REALLY are.

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html

Voting is for Kids! Sort of

14 year olds to be given the right to vote in California?

Discuss.

R.I.P. Spalding Gray

In case you didn't know or hadn't heard, they found his body in the East River on Sunday afternoon. Be warned, this is very depressing and sad. And the details are gruesome, though tastefully excluded from this particular article. But sadly, he has been found.

NY Times Link

Monster!

Oscar winner Charlize Theron parfing it del Granny Smith.

I Saw You . . .

YOU: TALL WOMAN with light brown hair and beautiful, albeit sleepy brown eyes getting off at Dupont approx. 8:45 am, 5/9. Me:

the stocky man in the orange shirt with the eye patch and the cape. We made "eyes" but you got off before I could introduce myself. Perhaps next time?
*****
Tall Redhead on U STreet Metro getting hassled by a bum. You politely asked him to stop groping you, when he declined you put him in an armlock and asked him to reconsider his answer. Marry Me.
*****
Second Story Books, every sunday of the year. You: hottie McMan with (often greasy) blonde hair. Me: regular shorty with the boomin' ass. How did you get so beefy? I'm a practicing vegetarian but I'd make an excepting for a piece of that!
*****
These are all taken from the Washington City Paper.

Lingusticky

Hypercorrection is a phenomenon where lower-middle class folks over-pronounciate the /r/ sound in an attempt to emulate the upper class. For instance, 'toity toid street' (for 33rd Street) is popularily associated with the so-callled Brooklyn accent.

Speakers who wish to dissociate themselves from this way of speaking often 'correct' forms which contain the word , so that 'toilet' becomes 'terlet'. This produces a form which is not only hypercorrect, but also in fact non-existant in the more prestigious form of speech which these speakers are trying to emulate.

Just so you know.

Big Ups

Just want to give Tim big ups for getting into grad school.

Instant Karma's Gonna Get You

Let this be a lesson to you ladies and gentlemen of Jeaun, Bad Things happen to those who shred the Consitution. Being the heartless bastard that I am, I find myself feeling no pity for this man. In fact, his pain might just be in the common good. Here's a couple reasons why....

Ashcroft has trashed a 600 years of jurisprudence by effectively abolishing habeas corpus. Right now, American citizens are sitting in prisons, not only denied their 6th Amendment right to a speedy trial, but wholly denied access to any trial, any court or any legal counsel.

Ashcroft doesn't think that is enough, and has further demanded the power without the right to revoke Americans' citizenship by his fiat, without recourse to judicial review.

Ashcroft has abrogated the rights of California, under the 10th Amendment, to make its own laws, and has insisted on prosecuting persons whose "crime "is to give marijuana to the terminally ill to ease their few remaining days of life.

Ashcroft has abrogated the rights of Oregon, by threatened Oregon doctors with the loss of licenses or even prison for following Oregon laws allowing people to die with dignity.

Ashcroft has ignored the intent of the US Congress by applying the wide-ranging powers granted under the "Patriot Act" to crimes that legislators voting for the "Patriot Act" never envisaged it would cover.

Ashcroft has perverted the considered opinions of the majority of US federal judges, by insisting on mandatory minimum sentences that even conservative Chief Justice William Rehnquist finds too Draconian, and has abused the consciences of Federal prosecutors by insisting on death-penalty sentences even when local Federal prosecutors thought that ultimate penalty unwarranted.

Ashcroft has championed secret arrests, closed trials, secret military tribunals, and even authorized the deportation of a Canadian resident, Maher Arar, to Syria, where Arar was tortured for 10 and a half months.

Magic Cone

uncomfortable, ladies?
I'm sure this'll be much better.

Mass Hysteria...

... cats and dogs living together.

The tower of Babel is one step closer to being rebuilt.

www.bowlingual.com

The commercial is so disturbing it makes me hate dogs, weddings, and bi-lingual communicators. Not to mention the fact that this ad condones gay marriage... and by 'gay' I mean 'inter-species.'

Why I didn't see "The Passion"

I think it looks boring. As far as I can tell, it's a gruesome portrayal of someone being tortured mercilessly. That's about all anybody can seem to say about the actual content of the film. Remember the end of Braveheart? Riggs loves to get his torture on.

Here's what would offend me, if I were the type to be offended. Give me one reason why the violence in this film is not the most gratutious sort. I certainly don't ascribe to the notion that an orgy of pain, humiliation and untimely death is something that should be celebrated. And I'm not sure if I understand the message if it's not that. In fact from what I hear, this movie has nothing to do with the teachings of Jesus, just his death and dismemberment plan. What kind of story telling is that? It seems as if the goal was to take the event of this torture out of all contexts, and let the suffering itself stand alone.

Again, I haven't seen it, but i think the public exaltation illustrates how non-secular (and royally f'd up) our society really is. If this was a story about anybody else - just some average old timey bloke getting sadistically eviscerated for 2 hours, people would be up in arms about the horrors of a worthless gorefest - the kind of art that leads to columbines and that whole argument. And why in the hell wouldn't it? I'd bet you anything a crucifiction or two will happen in the heartland this year - I wonder who will get the blame then.

Sorry for ranting about this, but i think it's really ironic that after the superbowl the whole country almost grinds to a halt in an effort to supress an exposed breast - and yet the movie that some are calling "the most violent in the history of American cinema" is selling out to church groups by the theater. For some reason, we seem to loathe any hint of sexuality, but have no problem overlooking violence when it seems to fit our needs.

In fact, if you think about the Janet/Justin thing - the person that should have been attacked by the media was him. No matter what he thought she was wearing underneath, we should have used our national voice of moral outrage to condemn the act of tearing off a piece of a woman's clothing in a mock assault, not the fact that the breast underneath was exposed.

Blah. I'm tired and grumpy. Monday schmonday.