jeaun.com

Apres moi, le deluge

Hey, Jarrod Routh posted this in his plan:

watched most of 21 grams on monday. all i can say is that i only needed the .75 seconds when the TV was in the frame to recognize the porn that's playing when sean penn is in the fertility clinic's beatoff room. "the mobster's wife". hot tub scene with the body guard and eponymous wife.

Can anyone confirm/disconfirm? I didn't notice when I saw the film; I was too busy being horribly depressed.

I saw this on the sidewalk.

http://www.tshirt-orgy.com

I saw this written in chalk on the Pentacrest of UIowa. It's from the makers of Cafe Press, but just the funny offensive tees. My favorite says "My vagina is different from your loosely closed fist." It's so true.

Post Weed, Part II

Lull

This post is mainly to break the lull that jeaun.com appears to be in. Also, it's to alert people to two new sections of Nounatron I've created in the democratic spirit of the Wiki world.

People is for those characters from college and beyond who we sort of knew, but not well enough to identify them by their respectful, Christian names. Hot Darcy is a good example, and the list will no doubt grow as we plumb our long-suppressed memories of that era for more obscure personalities and the sophomoric appellations we bestowed upon them.

Band Names is pretty self-explanatory, and I filled it with the ideas generated by the Ticonderoga name-our-band thread.

Just two more ways to waste your time.

holy christ!

tim, this is for you...

http://www.wayofthemaster.com/

Send a Jew to Summer Camp

Apparently, there is a big push in the US to get enough Jews back to Israel so we can FINALLY have the Second Coming. Christ, already- http://www.ezrausa.org/FAQS.htm

A Joke From A Page Of Filth

A man with a giant orange for half of his head walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says "Hey! What the hell happened to you buddy?"
The man says "well, I was rumaging through some old stuff when I came across a lamp. I rubbed it and *poof*! Out pops a genie and he grants me three wishes!"
"and what did you wish for?" the bartender asks.
"With my first wish," the guy says, "I asked for every woman I ever met to be madly in love with me and want me. All of a sudden I was surrounded by all of these women!
"With my second wish I asked for a million dollars that I could never lose and could never be stolen. BAM! I was rich.
"And for my third wish, I wished that half of my head was a giant orange."

Only for the miserably Bored

O.K., I'm bored

Bon mots

In an effort to expand and improve Nounatron's Lexicon, I am soliciting everyone's help with the following terms:

abandalone
bluff
gimmick
flaw

I remember at one point Win had a bluff/gimmick/flaw dichotomy in which all phenomena could be categorized, but I don't remember how it went. Also, can you remember all the names we had for furniture? I remember the Throne of Bone, Doctor Rocktagon, the Porn Chair, the Poppajeaun, and Johnny Crookshanks, as well as Big Leath, Brown Leath, White Leath, etc. What were some others?

Any definitions/elaborations are much appreciated. Help me consume time frivolously.

Giddiup, C***suckers!

Anybody else watching Deadwood?

The Case of the Missing Rock and Roll

Ticonderoga... well loved by Grayson Currin.

I seem to recall a list of addresses to which Ticonderogarock would be delivered. Alas, only those of us lucky enough to be Aden have received them.

Are those coming? What about electronic distribution? I'm willing to loan you a nounatron for that purpose, if you're okay with putting those jeauns on the web.

Speaking of electrons... Digital Suck-Core!

Spontaneous Wrestling

Fight Club not enough? That game where you make a circle with your thumb and forefinger and get people to look at it so you can punch them... is perhaps too immature for you? Here's the perfect combination of both.

Today I heard about a Spontaneous Wrestling club at the U of Iowa. Members are identified by green handkerchiefs sticking out of their back pocket. If you see another person with a green handkerchief, you're obliged to wrestle (not to the death) them wherever you happen to be. I guess there was a match on a cambus a few days ago, but the whole concept is new to me.

When I googled it, I only got this: http://www.toink.net/comment.php?comment=19

Is this a random phenomenon, or is it widespread? Comment on S&M handkerchief symbols.

Ich Bin Ein Ubernerd

I added a link to Danno on the sidebar. I put it up last year to record short thoughts/synopses/whatever about books that I had read. I tend to forget if I don't write it down... But, I haven't been using it lately. But Sunday, apparently, has the same long-term memory issues, so I thought I'd release it into the wild.

Anyway, you all have access to it if you want to use it. When you log into jeaun, it should be listed on the first page you see. I've been using the book title for the entry 'Title', and the author for the 'Primary Category'.

I figured it might be cool to hear about what y'all are reading... if you're into reading, four-eyes.

I was also thinking about setting one up for concerts. I'd like to remember the concerts I went to,... who sucked, who didn't. If anyone's interested, come up with a name and I'll create it. Or if I'm being the worst of the internet nerd of all time, let me know that too.

Important Cultural Issue Affecting Us All

So, did anyone see The Swan?

Mea culpa

I know many of you are Twin Peaks aficionados, so I had to make a public correction regarding my previous post. The reference I made comes from Agent Cooper's tapes, the transcripts of which (like the secret diary of Laura Palmer) were published after the plug was pulled on the series. On the tapes, he talks about how as he was growing up, every time he would try to sleep with a girl something would catch on fire.

Incidentally, Jason, I think a reality series called "Wasted, He Wrote" is in order.

We hold the bag while corporate America lives it up

I have a confession to make. I like paying taxes. I actually can accept that my money goes into the government and maybe helps someone else or shows up in my daily life somehow.

My share and your share of the tax burden of the United States has been going up while our real wages have remained pretty much flat since 1976. CEO compensation has been growing a little faster.... It's not that surprising since so many corporations have been avoiding paying tax.

Of course, that's capitalism. How dare we as a country demand that the corporations that make so much money and sell us stuff help the rest of us out?
Hopefully all this attention will help fix the tax code, since it's been tweaked over the last 3 decades to make the rich richer and screw the rest of us.

I heartily suggest everyone read Perfectly Legal , a book that explains exactly how it happened.

/sorry if this is serious, but we can't always talk about teh funny

Just call me Agent Cooper

In almost every instance of me dating someone, that person shows up to our first date high or drunk. Booze, pills, crystal, EVERYTHING. And these are people that I meet in and out of the bar. I'm convinced that it's a Dale-esque curse.

10 years later...

Since I'm always the loser who writes in celebrity death, I wanted to link to an interesting webpage in which a bunch of writers talk about how Kurt Cobain's death affected them. One of them is hysterical, but I never thought his death was that shocking or that tragic to begin with. I was much more upset about River Phoenix, but only in the way that I didn't say "well, that was inevitable" when I heard about it. The hoopla after he died just proved to me how stupid everyone is, especially the ones who wore the shirt with his face on it and his birth and death days. Plus it seemed really cliche, which may have been the real tragedy considering he seemed to try to go out of his way to avoid most things standard.

http://blacktable.com/cobain040405.htm

Dan Shanoff

Yes, but what if...?

"Rock idol" status is a lot tougher to maintain if you keep living. Look at Elvis in '77. Or Clay Aiken in '07.

A 37-year-old Kurt Cobain wouldn't be pretty. Sure as he'd be coloring his hair, he'd have a blog. Oh lord, he'd have a blog. He'd have called his third solo record effort "Blogosphere" (or certainly had an eponymous single). Maybe blogs could have saved him, like they've saved so many other angst-ridden people in their 20s and 30s.

He would have made his way on to reality TV. You'd hope it would be one of the less humiliating ones, but 10 years is a long time. Given the acceleration of the fame cycle since 1994, Kurt would be doing a guest spot on

"Star Search" ... maybe hosting "TRL" with La-La and Good Charlotte. I'm not saying he'd be guest-hosting "Clean Sweep," but his sick (and inevitable) Mercer Island mansion would have made it to "Cribs."

If nothing else, he'd have a "Celebrity Playlist" on iTunes. What you wouldn't see is all the Nirvana-derivative bands; they wouldn't exist, or, at least, they would need the imprimatur of Cobain -- he'd have a catch phrase of approval, like Randy Jackson's "What's up, Dawg?" Maybe he'd have even invented "What's up, Dawg?"

I'd love to say that Courtney Love would have remained the same pop-culture non-factor that she was before her husband died. But she would have found a way to service her ambition -- probably high-profile divorce (the timing affected by whether US Weekly was in pre-Bonnie, mid-Bonnie or post-Bonnie era), followed by the same parade of self-promotion that led her to her current standing ... on David Letterman's desk.

The last Decade of Love, instead of a Decade of Kurt Cobain's Inevitable Slide Into Desperate Clinging to Relevancy? There's an even bigger tragedy for you.

Dan Shanoff is a columnist for ESPN.com and writes "The Daily Quickie" every weekday morning.